I was going through my notes yesterday and came across these raw words of mine typed out a few weeks ago. Fun fact: When my mind gets loud + my heart heavy I write notes to God. No formalities. I just let the pen glide or the fingers type across the keyboard and lay it all bare. So here I am inviting you into my notes with the hope + expectation that you’re spurred on. I have this feeling you too want what I want, have been where I was and desire to be moving forward + closer to Jesus with every breath you take.
What I want:
I want to know you more, Lord. Not the intellectual kinda know but the deep-down-in-my-soul-I-feel-restless-for-You kind of knowing. I want to be fully satisfied in You alone. I want to enjoy YOU MORE and hate sin more. I want to wake up first thing in the morning and my thoughts be Yours and when my head hits the pillow in the evening…those moments are reserved for You too. I want to walk away from my time with You changed a bit more each day. I want to invite You into all the moments of my day and not have You boxed into a “chair time.”
I want it to be easy to see that I have been with You. For the good of others and all the Glory is Yours.
Where I have been:
And yet despite all this holy wanting there’s a constant pulling under. A move against the current of this world that can leave one feeling alone and tired. Before I know it I have been caught up in it. Distracted. Forgetful. Self-serving. Heart + mind cluttered with worldly things. My true citizenship forgotten. But God. You beckon me from this.
I cry out in response to the Garden of Eden question that you still ask “where are you?” The light breaks through and suddenly I am awake. Pulling away from the world and running towards You.
How I move forward:
I draw near to you alone Lord. My heart is wide open ready to be searched fully. Confessing that which does not belong there. Repenting over the sin and imagining the heartbreak and feeling the weight of it all. Your grace abounds and I delight in your Presence and pursuit of me. I meditate on your WORD inviting your promised Spirit to do the holy work with my all in heart. I am still and quiet. Ready to receive + move as a Child of God + Citizen of Heaven. While the work in my heart here doesn't end on this side of eternity your promises compel me to keep coming back to Jesus. And so I will. With praise on my lips + holy expectation in my heart. I am Yours.
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My hope is you feel a little less alone + a whole lot spurred on for MORE time with Jesus. Because it is our absolute delight. AMEN?!
Let’s end with this prayer by A.W. Tozer:
O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been.
Amen.
EnJOY a day + everyday thereafter close to Jesus!
95 comments
Sep 01, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Well God it’s the dummy again nobody people that ain’t good for each other,no love,no trust,don’t care,and just mess people that ain’t good for each other,open relationships that should’ve have never went close and should’ve never messed with each other after messing with somebody else called hiv the cuban flu unnatural
Sep 01, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
I wonder could the person tell me the name of the last man or two they been with over the last 20 years I been alone with every story it is,y’all thought about y’all self and then lately and know me,
Sep 01, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Maybe it’s the other way never like another man ,what just something to jack off in didn’t get orgasm,and minute and 30 seconds of nothing,it takes you ten to fifteen minutes to orgasm and his stuff do get on soft so why waste it just don’t like men at all
Sep 01, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Nobody again one art of me always listening to this mess is saying don’t y’all never want to be in another relationship,look at who you talk to all day and night,and wouldn’t know and didn’t ask you your name and you shouldn’t want find out what’s going on with the next who you don’t need to know so you have your own story about how it all went wrong because y’all already be married and at home,
Sep 01, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
I guess I really have to lose it all to understand,other than that it’s really nothing to talk about at 1 45 am,you stink bye watch your own tv
Sep 01, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Well God it’s nobody I really don’t know if I’m the only person alone and keep listening to not to be in me I’m fine at home and not knowing one me out of 6 billion people,it’s hard enough just to survive being alone when not going to give you everything and I don’t have anybody to take care of one me,and it’s men everywhere and I guess I’m the one that can stay out of way of all
Aug 29, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Have just took the time and acknowledged that you don’t love anyone are anything,Whats the fake smile somebody else pain and misery,that all we can say for the last 16 years ,what’s life not into the stranger that don’t like you anyways,is that what I want to say everyday no love ,all I can think about is that I really don’t love the person that I’m with what we been doing for 20 years, we don’t love
Aug 29, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Well God it’s nobody again in need of prayer,why is the world so cold and sick,it’s like a plaque spreading and nobody’s cares but when it comes to foolishness they all about it ,who wants to hear it who wants to see it,maybe the next one fine having a good time and that’s not me,why not self and nobody else I don’t have a friend in the world these dudes stink,they go threw heromone problems,hot flashesh and other nonsense
Aug 28, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
The very untrue unfortunate man not into anybody at all once on young and old ,old just in the yard doing yard work,old just sitting in the truck in store parking lot,old whaten into them young because I was married to the same one 30 years,old not into people
Aug 28, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Black not just because I want to be black in the situations,two people the same age 18 never worked before what they looking for,maybe into two different worlds not friends at all wouldn’t even talk to each other on the phone,the other two too old,and really know they not friends and success is slim to none when they startedto late just trying to survive,not friends at all don’t call on the phone
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