I was going through my notes yesterday and came across these raw words of mine typed out a few weeks ago. Fun fact: When my mind gets loud + my heart heavy I write notes to God. No formalities. I just let the pen glide or the fingers type across the keyboard and lay it all bare. So here I am inviting you into my notes with the hope + expectation that you’re spurred on. I have this feeling you too want what I want, have been where I was and desire to be moving forward + closer to Jesus with every breath you take.
What I want:
I want to know you more, Lord. Not the intellectual kinda know but the deep-down-in-my-soul-I-feel-restless-for-You kind of knowing. I want to be fully satisfied in You alone. I want to enjoy YOU MORE and hate sin more. I want to wake up first thing in the morning and my thoughts be Yours and when my head hits the pillow in the evening…those moments are reserved for You too. I want to walk away from my time with You changed a bit more each day. I want to invite You into all the moments of my day and not have You boxed into a “chair time.”
I want it to be easy to see that I have been with You. For the good of others and all the Glory is Yours.
Where I have been:
And yet despite all this holy wanting there’s a constant pulling under. A move against the current of this world that can leave one feeling alone and tired. Before I know it I have been caught up in it. Distracted. Forgetful. Self-serving. Heart + mind cluttered with worldly things. My true citizenship forgotten. But God. You beckon me from this.
I cry out in response to the Garden of Eden question that you still ask “where are you?” The light breaks through and suddenly I am awake. Pulling away from the world and running towards You.
How I move forward:
I draw near to you alone Lord. My heart is wide open ready to be searched fully. Confessing that which does not belong there. Repenting over the sin and imagining the heartbreak and feeling the weight of it all. Your grace abounds and I delight in your Presence and pursuit of me. I meditate on your WORD inviting your promised Spirit to do the holy work with my all in heart. I am still and quiet. Ready to receive + move as a Child of God + Citizen of Heaven. While the work in my heart here doesn't end on this side of eternity your promises compel me to keep coming back to Jesus. And so I will. With praise on my lips + holy expectation in my heart. I am Yours.
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My hope is you feel a little less alone + a whole lot spurred on for MORE time with Jesus. Because it is our absolute delight. AMEN?!
Let’s end with this prayer by A.W. Tozer:
O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been.
Amen.
EnJOY a day + everyday thereafter close to Jesus!
167 comments
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Nov 18, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
One blind person said not my check,the other blind person said I get away with a lot stuff,the next blind person said let’s play business that way I’m a long ways from being a hobo ,the last blind person said I’m going to talk all day and night no matter what
Nov 17, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
U.s Marshall got the wire tap now what the hell I want to think about 30 years later ,and free as hell work home nall I ain’t seen and I’m not missing any sleep at home , California FBI on the move trying to move up the food chain at work this some real bum legal I better report and I know where I’m at during the day that’s work when it all went wrong looking for who I been at work on carmer all day break went to not my concinnnce store missing anything
Nov 17, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
One night stand,straight to the room too the dope den went from 20 a night to 30 and 10 dollar change made a big difference it seems like 40
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Nov 17, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
What is to mean when the next person that dont fool with you are your stuff and wouldn’t know each other name from the man in the moon,how can you love a complete stranger that don’t want you anyways ,and wouldn’t miss you one moment that y’all didn’t barther them,who are y’all when y’all don’t have all these problems and at home
Nov 17, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
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Nov 17, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
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Nov 17, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
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