I was going through my notes yesterday and came across these raw words of mine typed out a few weeks ago. Fun fact: When my mind gets loud + my heart heavy I write notes to God. No formalities. I just let the pen glide or the fingers type across the keyboard and lay it all bare. So here I am inviting you into my notes with the hope + expectation that you’re spurred on. I have this feeling you too want what I want, have been where I was and desire to be moving forward + closer to Jesus with every breath you take.
What I want:
I want to know you more, Lord. Not the intellectual kinda know but the deep-down-in-my-soul-I-feel-restless-for-You kind of knowing. I want to be fully satisfied in You alone. I want to enjoy YOU MORE and hate sin more. I want to wake up first thing in the morning and my thoughts be Yours and when my head hits the pillow in the evening…those moments are reserved for You too. I want to walk away from my time with You changed a bit more each day. I want to invite You into all the moments of my day and not have You boxed into a “chair time.”
I want it to be easy to see that I have been with You. For the good of others and all the Glory is Yours.
Where I have been:
And yet despite all this holy wanting there’s a constant pulling under. A move against the current of this world that can leave one feeling alone and tired. Before I know it I have been caught up in it. Distracted. Forgetful. Self-serving. Heart + mind cluttered with worldly things. My true citizenship forgotten. But God. You beckon me from this.
I cry out in response to the Garden of Eden question that you still ask “where are you?” The light breaks through and suddenly I am awake. Pulling away from the world and running towards You.
How I move forward:
I draw near to you alone Lord. My heart is wide open ready to be searched fully. Confessing that which does not belong there. Repenting over the sin and imagining the heartbreak and feeling the weight of it all. Your grace abounds and I delight in your Presence and pursuit of me. I meditate on your WORD inviting your promised Spirit to do the holy work with my all in heart. I am still and quiet. Ready to receive + move as a Child of God + Citizen of Heaven. While the work in my heart here doesn't end on this side of eternity your promises compel me to keep coming back to Jesus. And so I will. With praise on my lips + holy expectation in my heart. I am Yours.
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My hope is you feel a little less alone + a whole lot spurred on for MORE time with Jesus. Because it is our absolute delight. AMEN?!
Let’s end with this prayer by A.W. Tozer:
O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been.
Amen.
EnJOY a day + everyday thereafter close to Jesus!
10 comments
Oct 10, 2023 • Posted by Bobby kumar
A ritual essay for god
Sep 11, 2023 • Posted by zzzzz
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Jun 16, 2023 • Posted by Maya
Dear God pleased bless Maya alys carswell about sweet 🧁🎂 food so she wants eat it Jesus Christ lord I save in Lord blessed Maya alys carswell mind Brain sleep good night 😴 don’t make no sense at all so Jesus Christ so sorry what happened yesterday and you forget me yes or no reason for Maya alys carswell praise will strong good Jesus Christ name Amen
Jun 16, 2023 • Posted by Maya
Dear God bless us start over again soon finish heaven and hell then start back again 1990years to 2000 year and yes then please let me don’t cry sad and trouble and fight and hurt hit and pulling hair out and calling people by there name in nasty thing and killed people bad things and yes then let me be skinny tall strong people darkness skin tone female forever and nice sweet and yes then comment scene and yes be pill and yes Lord Jesus Christ name Amen
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Mar 29, 2023 • Posted by Laurie Hilsinger
So, SO good! I felt this deep in my heart. I said amen over and over as a read this. Thank you for serving God so faithfully, for testifying to His goodness, and for laying your soul bare for others to see…and be encouraged by it. So grateful I am not the only one who finds herself in these places.
Mar 28, 2023 • Posted by Dan
Excellent encouragement. Thank you for sharing this glimpse into your heart.
Mar 28, 2023 • Posted by Malaika Salters
This spoke right to my heart. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Mar 28, 2023 • Posted by Sean Faulkner
Thanks for sharing this. God does amazing things in our time with Him. Look at the work He has done and is perfecting in your mind.
Mar 27, 2023 • Posted by Paula Johnson
This is a powerful spirit-filled straight from the heart letter to God. It’s so amazing I had to read it more than once. I know there are a number of journals out there, but it would be great if Kairos put out a special leather journal titled Letters to God with this letter in the preface. Letters to God could start a whole new way of praying effectively by not just note taking but writing a full page letter. It would also be a good keepsake to pass onto our family as well. Something to consider. Than know Kairos for sharing this.
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