I was going through my notes yesterday and came across these raw words of mine typed out a few weeks ago. Fun fact: When my mind gets loud + my heart heavy I write notes to God. No formalities. I just let the pen glide or the fingers type across the keyboard and lay it all bare. So here I am inviting you into my notes with the hope + expectation that you’re spurred on. I have this feeling you too want what I want, have been where I was and desire to be moving forward + closer to Jesus with every breath you take.
What I want:
I want to know you more, Lord. Not the intellectual kinda know but the deep-down-in-my-soul-I-feel-restless-for-You kind of knowing. I want to be fully satisfied in You alone. I want to enjoy YOU MORE and hate sin more. I want to wake up first thing in the morning and my thoughts be Yours and when my head hits the pillow in the evening…those moments are reserved for You too. I want to walk away from my time with You changed a bit more each day. I want to invite You into all the moments of my day and not have You boxed into a “chair time.”
I want it to be easy to see that I have been with You. For the good of others and all the Glory is Yours.
Where I have been:
And yet despite all this holy wanting there’s a constant pulling under. A move against the current of this world that can leave one feeling alone and tired. Before I know it I have been caught up in it. Distracted. Forgetful. Self-serving. Heart + mind cluttered with worldly things. My true citizenship forgotten. But God. You beckon me from this.
I cry out in response to the Garden of Eden question that you still ask “where are you?” The light breaks through and suddenly I am awake. Pulling away from the world and running towards You.
How I move forward:
I draw near to you alone Lord. My heart is wide open ready to be searched fully. Confessing that which does not belong there. Repenting over the sin and imagining the heartbreak and feeling the weight of it all. Your grace abounds and I delight in your Presence and pursuit of me. I meditate on your WORD inviting your promised Spirit to do the holy work with my all in heart. I am still and quiet. Ready to receive + move as a Child of God + Citizen of Heaven. While the work in my heart here doesn't end on this side of eternity your promises compel me to keep coming back to Jesus. And so I will. With praise on my lips + holy expectation in my heart. I am Yours.
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My hope is you feel a little less alone + a whole lot spurred on for MORE time with Jesus. Because it is our absolute delight. AMEN?!
Let’s end with this prayer by A.W. Tozer:
O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been.
Amen.
EnJOY a day + everyday thereafter close to Jesus!
41 comments
Jan 27, 2025 • Posted by Nalayah Patton
Dear God I apologize for all of my sins please give me all good dreams sorry I was crying over the small bug like a crybaby if that was my punishment I aprreate it bc I deserve so I’m gonna try to do better bc I don’t like the punishments but I have to except the consequences heavenly father I love you so much goodnight bless me and my family with a good night can you tell my grandpa I love him I miss him and goodnight good night to you as well.
Jan 14, 2025 • Posted by Nobody
Well God it’s nobody again ,I need of prayer and involved in somebody else crime these days,papa old best suggestions I can give is pick and chose your crime wisely,it’s the same life sentence white collar crime would be better,
Dec 16, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
God it’s nobody one more time,Ted Bundy and Jeffery Durham without the French benefits a job to 67 a good raise every year,and zero down home loan ,and car loan without the interest rate, discount on lighting and water and one hell of a 401 k plan,living good with no complaints
Dec 16, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
God it’s nobody again,while the rest of the world struggles with rent and mortgage,the high unemployment rate ,and like me anyway day just another hobo,work not guarantee the next job hard to get ,20 to 30 years for one and all your life for the other,and I’m just another person that didn’t have welfare,voucher to pay the rent and food stamps,don’t keep me guessing
Dec 06, 2024 • Posted by Maya
Deleted my comment two of them now
Nov 21, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
Dear God it’s me again nobody,and it’s been a long 16 years at the end of the day it’s just a struggle not to be a hobo,
Nov 09, 2024 • Posted by Maya
Dear Lord let me be in hell dies and be a black males devil and yes root workers monster in yes.
Nov 07, 2024 • Posted by Maya alys carswell
Dear Lord let us united states of America finished heaven and hell dies and starts over again years year and then let maya alys carswell be my great grandmother mother side of family members. Jesus Christ name amen
Oct 27, 2024 • Posted by Empty Soul
I don’t know what I’m writing here or what I’m doing. I feel lost and don’t know what I’m supposed to do next. I’ve lost everything in my life, and I’m still losing people. I don’t have a job, and I’m miles away from my family. There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t express it to anyone. I don’t know what’s going wrong in my life. I’m so frustrated.
I came to a foreign country to study, but I can’t even focus on my studies. I feel like I’ve messed everything up, and I’m broke. I don’t have enough money for anything. Please, God, I’m in big trouble—just take me out of this or show me what I should do next.
Aug 22, 2024 • Posted by Mona
Dear God I need you in my life I know you have done a lot of good things for us we need your help again please I pray that we get through this please be with me and mark so we get that house and get that new job please be with us I need your help God
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