I was going through my notes yesterday and came across these raw words of mine typed out a few weeks ago. Fun fact: When my mind gets loud + my heart heavy I write notes to God. No formalities. I just let the pen glide or the fingers type across the keyboard and lay it all bare. So here I am inviting you into my notes with the hope + expectation that you’re spurred on. I have this feeling you too want what I want, have been where I was and desire to be moving forward + closer to Jesus with every breath you take.
What I want:
I want to know you more, Lord. Not the intellectual kinda know but the deep-down-in-my-soul-I-feel-restless-for-You kind of knowing. I want to be fully satisfied in You alone. I want to enjoy YOU MORE and hate sin more. I want to wake up first thing in the morning and my thoughts be Yours and when my head hits the pillow in the evening…those moments are reserved for You too. I want to walk away from my time with You changed a bit more each day. I want to invite You into all the moments of my day and not have You boxed into a “chair time.”
I want it to be easy to see that I have been with You. For the good of others and all the Glory is Yours.
Where I have been:
And yet despite all this holy wanting there’s a constant pulling under. A move against the current of this world that can leave one feeling alone and tired. Before I know it I have been caught up in it. Distracted. Forgetful. Self-serving. Heart + mind cluttered with worldly things. My true citizenship forgotten. But God. You beckon me from this.
I cry out in response to the Garden of Eden question that you still ask “where are you?” The light breaks through and suddenly I am awake. Pulling away from the world and running towards You.
How I move forward:
I draw near to you alone Lord. My heart is wide open ready to be searched fully. Confessing that which does not belong there. Repenting over the sin and imagining the heartbreak and feeling the weight of it all. Your grace abounds and I delight in your Presence and pursuit of me. I meditate on your WORD inviting your promised Spirit to do the holy work with my all in heart. I am still and quiet. Ready to receive + move as a Child of God + Citizen of Heaven. While the work in my heart here doesn't end on this side of eternity your promises compel me to keep coming back to Jesus. And so I will. With praise on my lips + holy expectation in my heart. I am Yours.
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My hope is you feel a little less alone + a whole lot spurred on for MORE time with Jesus. Because it is our absolute delight. AMEN?!
Let’s end with this prayer by A.W. Tozer:
O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been.
Amen.
EnJOY a day + everyday thereafter close to Jesus!
976 comments
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I can’t stop thanking ALPHA RECOVERY EXPERTS for assisting me in recovering my lost bitcoin, which I had assumed was lost forever. I recently lost $318,000 to a cryptocurrency investment scam. The company posed as an investment firm that could provide a high percentage of profits if you deposited Bitcoin with them. At first, it appeared to be real; it worked twice. I had no idea they had set up a (robot) that would entirely shut down your account after you had opted to invest much. One day, while browsing the internet, I came across a story about how ALPHA RECOVERY EXPERTS assisted a family in recovering their lost investment from a fraud. Experiencing a similar problem. I chose to contact them. From our initial chat, it was evident that ALPHA RECOVERY EXPERTS had a genuine desire to aid fraud victims like myself. He began by reviewing my findings and then started the recovery process. It took the team 72 hours to locate and restore my stolen funds. I am incredibly appreciative for the recovery services he provided me.
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