I was going through my notes yesterday and came across these raw words of mine typed out a few weeks ago. Fun fact: When my mind gets loud + my heart heavy I write notes to God. No formalities. I just let the pen glide or the fingers type across the keyboard and lay it all bare. So here I am inviting you into my notes with the hope + expectation that you’re spurred on. I have this feeling you too want what I want, have been where I was and desire to be moving forward + closer to Jesus with every breath you take.
What I want:
I want to know you more, Lord. Not the intellectual kinda know but the deep-down-in-my-soul-I-feel-restless-for-You kind of knowing. I want to be fully satisfied in You alone. I want to enjoy YOU MORE and hate sin more. I want to wake up first thing in the morning and my thoughts be Yours and when my head hits the pillow in the evening…those moments are reserved for You too. I want to walk away from my time with You changed a bit more each day. I want to invite You into all the moments of my day and not have You boxed into a “chair time.”
I want it to be easy to see that I have been with You. For the good of others and all the Glory is Yours.
Where I have been:
And yet despite all this holy wanting there’s a constant pulling under. A move against the current of this world that can leave one feeling alone and tired. Before I know it I have been caught up in it. Distracted. Forgetful. Self-serving. Heart + mind cluttered with worldly things. My true citizenship forgotten. But God. You beckon me from this.
I cry out in response to the Garden of Eden question that you still ask “where are you?” The light breaks through and suddenly I am awake. Pulling away from the world and running towards You.
How I move forward:
I draw near to you alone Lord. My heart is wide open ready to be searched fully. Confessing that which does not belong there. Repenting over the sin and imagining the heartbreak and feeling the weight of it all. Your grace abounds and I delight in your Presence and pursuit of me. I meditate on your WORD inviting your promised Spirit to do the holy work with my all in heart. I am still and quiet. Ready to receive + move as a Child of God + Citizen of Heaven. While the work in my heart here doesn't end on this side of eternity your promises compel me to keep coming back to Jesus. And so I will. With praise on my lips + holy expectation in my heart. I am Yours.
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My hope is you feel a little less alone + a whole lot spurred on for MORE time with Jesus. Because it is our absolute delight. AMEN?!
Let’s end with this prayer by A.W. Tozer:
O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been.
Amen.
EnJOY a day + everyday thereafter close to Jesus!
32 comments
Jul 03, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
I wonder if there was a story in the bible about this one,whatever happened before will happen again,is it all meaningless,what’s next month are will it be the next 15 years an no me,
Jul 02, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
I wonder was I watching news everyday,week from week what could I really be thinking about ,who going blame who are the next crime scene on the daily basis,I couldn’t be quite enough when it really didn’t even matter,
Jul 02, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
Talking nut about what,somebody tied to car, somebody hung up by there neck,now they into nitro another level of strirodes ,and I been mentally ill almost 20 years,at end of the road of work.what a day never did reach rule of 80 ,30 years plus 50 retirement, social security at 67 some people back work at 70 ,what a world
Jun 04, 2024 • Posted by Karen crafts
Dear god musu fire her job she need vaction start now other staff dont her I’m fit my self
Dropoff lost best friend Joanne Sullivan miss her miss Mon and dad upset right now
May 15, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
In life of crime,chose your on crime wisely,by me being a older nobody alone and broke,I wish it would been all about money white collared crimes,drug selling, insurance fraud,poze semes,money laundring, credit card scams,something that made my one self a millionaire at 20 , cruises,flights,be any where in the world,instead of a old nobody in the high unemployment nor even living the. Dream
May 03, 2024 • Posted by Elijah smith
What was it to stop when I’m all alone,without the hustle ,I know add somebody else to make a mess,let’s tell it my head been on shit 15 years almost 20 I be the only one that can’t see I’m always alone,I wonder what the next person been doing when it ain’t me,when I couldn’t see let’s make a mess when all alone,
Apr 22, 2024 • Posted by Elijah Smith
God it’s nobody again,what lies in the hearth of men,some it’s very foul,others it’s pure evil,and haterth,it’s very few good hearted people out here,minus the mistakes for others it’s to blame others doing all the wrong,when nothing going on wrong who’s to blame,what’s to say when it’s nothing to say,where is God when you need him when world is full of evil and wrong doing,where is the love he promised somebody else that didn’t have to be in this mess,where is god
Feb 26, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
Well God it’s nobody again,today’s story is how not to play somebody else fool,with all this talk me alone,maybe I’m the only person in the world that understands that I’m just a wacky nobody I would have said black,but in today’s world your skin is not your seen more like French we we fe fe but talking leads to more problems through a lot of actions,hey let’s try ted Bundy are Jeffery Durham ain’t nobody watching who’s going to tell ,are couple of fetishes
Feb 21, 2024 • Posted by Elijah Smith
Well God it’s nobody again,I been at work at ready mix for the last six years I just got a new job it might workout are it might not I hope it last a year,wish I could’ve made it home 3 years are year and half ago,but that’s another story in a ill mind,I guess I just take one day at a time,I don’t know who won the Superbowl and guess I think about it next year
Feb 13, 2024 • Posted by Nobody
I’m need of prayers,talking done got the best of me again been alone for 15 years ,I’m really not the next stranger problem when we don’t even need to know each my problem is I can’t get back home,are I can’t sitting back wood to get myself straight,alone,I really don’t want to think it’s mess for the rest of my life because I was push away from home and being different for the rest of minds from 15 years caught the joke yesterday that became very for real when they let me stay at home,as the rest had to work 30 straight years to keep them from laying on the ground ,seen it in yesterday at least I don’t have anybody to take me in because they pay there own rent and mortgage oh well thought enough,sad as hell talking away I guess it really whaten free unless somebody else paid for
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